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I have a lot of beautiful parents of neurotypical kids in my life that want to raise neurodivergent-ally children but don't know how to. The first part we can focus on is understanding the differences in the different neurotype operating systems.
We need to understand that the Au operating system (brain) is driven by purpose and the NT operating system is driven by validation. Once we understand that we can both start making conscious connections between the different neurotypes.
NT people primarily do many things to make someone happy, make themselves happy, make other people think they are good people, and make themselves feel like they are good people. There is a lot of drive, and motivation in the NT world due to ‘image’ and appearing and/or actually being believed to be a ‘good person'. These are the types of things Au kids are taught in social skills training.
At this point in time, there is zero social skills training that I am aware of that teaches NT kids how to connect with someone with an Au operating system. If there was, it would include things like knowing the Au operating system is driven by the following, and teaching ways to connect with us about this:
- achieving goals and accomplishing tasks
- gaining access to things we need
- being able to focus on things we want to
- making sure we aren’t causing people or animals problems
- meeting sensory needs
- avoiding sensory experiences
- feeling loved
- avoiding people in situations that we don’t like
- avoiding situations that make us feel overwhelmed.
The differences between both operating systems provide an insight into why communication is likely to be so different from an NT person, to an Au person. The NT person is constantly trying to make themselves or others ‘feel’ something, as a result of their communication, whereas the Au person is trying to meet a need, or avoid a situation.
Now that we know this, what difference can you make to the neurodivergent people in your life?
- T ♡
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